What the hell is this, Ireland?

The new Buzz word these days seems to be "green". I don't really know what that has to do with being "environmentally conscious", but that's what they are calling it these days. Leonardo Di-fag-rio said that the Academy award show was green. They want cars to be green. My Explorer is green. It really is a lovely shade of forest green. I like it. I keep hearing that we all need to have the new green attitude.......but this takes the taco. There really is nothing sacred in this world anymore:
On canada.com (go figure), people are calling for green sex. What?! Yes, I said green sex. To me, that sounds bad. If you are having green sex, you probably need shots for something. But I digress.
Some place in Canada is selling an "eco-sexy kit". This contains a "phthalate-free vibrator (whatever that means), soy massage candle, a natural lubricant with no animal-tested derivatives, eco-undies (don't ask, I don't know), and some condoms". Other ways to 'geen up" the bedroom are as follows, and I'm not making this up......I couldn't:
Turning ou the lights, ensuring S&M paddles are made from sustainably harvested timber, use organic massage oils, shower together, use bamboo bed sheets (???), and wearing lingerie made of hemp or bamboo. I couldn't make this stuff up. This is exactly what they said on this canadian website.
This is ridiculous. This has gone WAY too far. These hippies are freakin' killing this country. We used to be a kick-ass industial nation until all these tree-huggers shut down industry. No one used to ever push us around or threaten us. Now, Iran, North Korea, they all see who our leaders are and they laugh. They think we are a joke. And the sad part is.....they are right!
If these jokers really wanted to say the world, here's what they'd do. They would fish. In many areas, fish are overpopulating lakes and waterways. When this happens, disease runs rampant. Also, they eat all the food in that particular ecosystem and some fish starve. Survival of the fittest. If we fish, we not only eat like kings, but we help the environment. Here's something else. Hunt. Deer, raccoons, possums, squirrel, rabbits, etc. I quote Uncle Ted, "The only good coon is a dead coon". Raccoons carry so much disease and rabies. They should all be shot and disposed of on site. Same with squirrels. These are lawn rats. I'll just say this, NO squirrels live in my backyard. If they happen to be passing thru, my kids inform me promptly and they are shot without prejudice.
You want to save the planet? Keep a sidearm in your glove box. In the state of Missouri, one who is over the age of 21 can keep a sidearm concealed in the "passenger compartment" of their vehicle WITHOUT a concealed carry permit. I recommend this way instead of getting the carry permit because of price, and there are too many private properties that won't let you carry them on the premises anyway even if you have the permit. This was passed in Feb. of 2004 when all the concealed carry laws passed. I have had a Smith & Wesson .380 semi-auto in my glove box ever since that numb-nut Bosnian refugee open-fired on a peaceful mall in the middle of Mormonville, Salt Lake City. If a terrorist is going to mow down white Christians in Utah, what makes you think that can't happen here? If you all want to be helpless, that's your choice, but I'm going to make the world a better place by popping off a terrorist if the situation calls for it.
I know I've gotten off track a little, but my main point is this: to green-up the country is a gigantic, bogus, pop-culture, crock of s#@&!!! You want to green up this nation? Plant a garden and let your kids help you harvest it. It gives you time with them and also teaches them a skill and some responsibility.
Here's my advice:
Eat meat. Shoot guns. Grow some food. Store some food. Have lots of kids. Say your prayers. Eat your vitamins. Eat dinner at the table.
It doesn't get much better than that. To close, here's a quote from "God, Guns, and Rock & Roll":
"Though many may cringe at the thought of whacking cute little furbearers, that kind of uneducated ignoranceis the very cause of rampant infestations of disease and even the death of innocent children."
Poetry in motion, my friends.

Long-live Nuge