After watching Mizzou piss down their leg in Lincoln today, I can't help but think to myself that I am destined for a lifetime of sports disappointments. I have never followed a team that won anything. Not once. No World Series, no Final Four, no BCS bowls, no Super Bowl. Never. Sure, I've seen some of my teams get close a few times, but that's it. I'll break down each sport one by one.
Major League Baseball - Kansas City Royals
This one is a little weird. I grew up in St. Louis and was a Cardinals fan, even attending Game 5 of the 1987 World Series against the Minnesota Twins. Technically, I was alive when the Cardinals won in 1982, but who cares about the World Series when you're 3? Anyway, we moved from St. Louis after my 5th grade year, and moved to Kansas City after my freshman year. During my formative sports years, I was kind of without a baseball team. The allegiance I had for the Cards faded away, and I have adopted the Royals. Since I have been in Kansas City, they have gotten progressively worse, to the point that they're probably the worst franchise in professional sports. There's nothing like being out of a pennant race by May. There was a brief moment in '03 when I thought maybe the Royals were legit, but they faded down the stretch and proceeded to lose 100 games each of the next three years.
Chances for title in my lifetime: 1-250. It could happen, but it's going to take a lot of luck.
NFL Football - Kansas City Chiefs
I remember becoming a Chiefs fan back in middle school, during the Steve DeBerg years. The football Cardinals left St. Louis when I was really young, so they were never a team I rooted for. The Chiefs have actually had some pretty good teams since I have followed them. They've won the division a few times and made the playoffs on several occasions. Unfortunately, they've never done much of anything in the playoffs, and have choked away a number of games. Back in '03, I thought it was going to be the year that I had a sports breakthrough, although it became apparent down the homestretch that we were going to be easy playoff fodder. Of course, we couldn't force the Peyton Manning-led Colts to punt even once, so it was just more disappointment. The highlight of my Chiefs life came back in '94 (maybe?) when the Chiefs knocked off Pittsburgh at home in the first round, then went on the road to Houston to upset Warren Moon and the Oilers. Then they got stomped by Buffalo in the AFC Championship game. It was like a punch in the stomach. Anyway, the Chiefs haven't won a playoff game since that season.
Chances for a title in my lifetime: 1-20. The NFL has a good balance of teams, so it's possible the Chiefs could catch lightning in a bottle one of these years.
NCAA Football and NCAA Basketball - Missouri Tigers
I'm going to use a little bit of a different measuring stick for NCAA success. Titles are hard to come by...there are just too many teams. So we'll go with Final 4's and BCS Berths. I'll start with football. I'm not really sure what my chances are. Historically, MU football has been atrocious. And even now that we are pretty good, we still piss down our leg during any big game. Seriously, I've never seen MU win a game that I didn't think it should. Ever. Not once. Do I need to repeat myself? The football Tigers might be the most snake-bitten sports team around. The 5th down vs. Colorado, the kicked ball vs. Nebraska, and just enough ineptitude to put a sour taste in my mouth after every season.
Chances for a BCS Bowl: 1-200. The Big XII South is way too good, and we'll be lucky to ever win the North.
For basketball, I've seen the verge of the final 4, but never seen my team actually make it there. The two closest times were in 1994 and 2002, when MU reached the elite 8. In '94, the team had a bunch of seniors who all peaked at the same time. Melvin Booker, Jevon Crudup, LaMont Frazier, Paul O'Liney, Mark Atkins...I can still name these guys. They ran into an Arizona team with Damon Stoudamire and Khalid Reeves, two legitimate NBA guards. Stoudamire ate us alive in the round of 8...it was a freaking clinic. Back in '02, it was really hard to enjoy the trip to the elite 8, since that team underachieved most of the season and barely even made it into the tourney as a 12 seed. They were playing with house money the entire time. They almost pulled out a Final 4 though, and probably would have if Clarence Gilbert hadn't been 1-49 against Oklahoma that day. Oklahoma had a pretty good team, but no real NBA players. Now that Quin Snyder ran the program into the ground and left the cupboard bare, there will probably be a 3 year waiting period before we will even be competitive in Big 12 play, much less successful in the big dance.
Chance for a Final 4: 1-100. Even if you have a great team, upsets happen all the time in the tourney. Of course, you have to be good enough to make it into the tourney first.
That about sums it up. I can't wait until next year, when I get to watch the Royals lose 100 again, watch MU piss down their leg again, and watch the Chiefs rebuild. Kill me.
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3 comments:
I couldn't have said it better myself. Growing up in KC has to be one of the toughest places to be a sports fan, unless you count KU people, which I don't. Professional sports-wise, Cleveland may be the only equal with the Browns and the Indians. It just gets really old and I also am at wit's end. Mizzou really disappointed me today and I'm not sure that I will even watch them in the Insight.com or Poulan Weadeater or whatever meaningless bowl they get invited to. It's so depressing to know that Bill Callahan is going to have Nebraska in the Big 12 Championship. This sucks. It really, really sucks.
Quit stealing my shtick.
Agreed. The Chiefs won't do it until Carl Peterson leaves and someone runs the team that cares more about winning than the money. By the way, it's going to cost almost 30 bucks to park next year. Thanks Carl.
This is very sad to say, but baseball is terrible now a days. The ratings of this world series were, by far, the worst ever this year. KC loves the Chiefs and the Speedway now. I think the Royals are in real trouble. My prediction, gone in 10 years.
Then there's that baby doll in the club that is so money. She looks fantastic. You end up the lucky one to take her home. The next morning reality sets in. Her breath smells like a Turkish rodeo, and you actully notice that she has a mustache. Yes, I'm talking about Mizzou. I don't remember a single year that I wasn't excited about their football and basketball teams. Only to taste the foul taste of disappointment and underachieving.
Don't even get me started on the KC Knights.
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